|
Dear Omar
I just found out that someone that I'm interested in has slept around with more than a few people. I realize that there was life before me, however, I'm having a hard time separating his yesterday with our possible future. What should I do?
Confused
Dear Confused
There are a few things I would like you to think about, first what would you want him to do if the situation were reverse?
Secondly, food for thought, he told you which shows that he's taking a chance with you, he could have lied about his past. Being an adult and doing adult things is realizing what you have control over and things you do not have control of.
You clearly have no control over his actions, before you, two, meet.
|
It sounds to me like you are having second thoughts, so the last thing I would suggest to you is that you search your true feelings, maybe you're not ready, but before you get yourself into a commitment situation make sure that you have all your issues resolved for your sake and his.
Dear Omar
I once read that men think about sex every 3 minutes. If this is true, I think about sex every minute. Am I a sex addict? Thinking about Sex. Addict
Dear Addict
It's not only thinking about sex that make one a sex addict. If you are jeopardizing your way of life and putting yourself in jeopardy, you may need to seek professional help.
Your thinking about sex constantly does not make you an addict, this is the way "men" are built. Men have several erections while sleeping, it's just a natural thing.
|
Dear Omar:
I'm involved with a married straight man. I see him a few times a week, yet I feel guilty, thinking that this kind of situation could happen to one of my female relatives.
Should I break it off? Should I demand that he pick a side? Should I just continue to enjoy our sex life and not take him serious?
TURNED OUT
Dear Turned Out:
I see you've got yourself in quite a pickle, well one thing is for sure, giving him an ultimatum is not going to turn him unless he's ready to join the ranks of the happy gay clan.
You're correct in thinking it could be someone you love in that same predicament, but more importantly, you could wind up in that predicament where your lover is torn between you and another person, male or female.
|
Now that you've seen some of the possibilities, how would this situation make you feel? The longer you stay involved with this married man, the harder it will be to say goodbye.
Dear Omar:
A new friend likes to get drunk then have his sexual encounters rape him? How should I confront him about this? HELP!
Dear Help:
First off, I think confronting him would be the wrong approach. You should first learn more about what your friend likes about this particular role play and to make sure he's keeping himself safe by approaching the situation as a caring friend, an inquisitive friend and not a judgmental friend. Remember role playing can be fun. Maybe with a little help from you, he can enjoy his encounters and stay safe without judgment. He told you this as a friend. Judge not, or you will be judged.
|
Dear Omar:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 years now. At the beginning of our relationship, he mentioned that he wanted children. I informed him that I didn't. Now he's back to wanting children.
I don't want that kind of responsibility, I enjoy the freedom we have in our relationship, we can pick up and travel whenever.
With children this would stop our flexibility. Now we are fighting about this every other day. CHILDREN OR NO CHILDREN?
Dear Children or Children:
This is a very touchy situation. Let me start by saying, your partner was up front in letting you know how he felt about a family, and you were in from in regard to your feelings.
I think what you both should have done was talk about whether you could make your relationship work with one of you wanting a family and one not. It really isn't a surprise that this is a heated discussion between you two.
Surprisingly enough this is not a gay issue, even straight couples go through this. A question to you, you mentioned about not being able to have flexibility because of children, how do you know this if you don't have children?
I believe it may take a little more planning but it's not impossible.
|
It sounds like your boyfriend wants a family and wants it with you. This should not be taken lightly, in fact you should be flattered.
Try talking to him, I'm sure you guys can come up with something, but remember you're more likely to want children than he is to not.
Dear Omar:
I'm almost 65, black and alone. I find that when I have a hook up with men around my age some are interested in CBT. At first I didn't know what that meant, but it means Cock and Ball Torture.
I was asked to smack his testicles to the point they turned beet red, the guy was white and he really enjoyed it till climax. Another white man wanted me to insert a thin metal stick into his penis head, push this completely in, till it disappeared. It's like the enjoyment is based on infliction of pain.
Is this normal for older men to push the sexual envelope to the point of confusing pain with pleasure? FROM GREAT BALLS OF FIRE
Dear Mr. Fire:
This is not unusual for men to push their sexual limits. It's a matter of choice. What may satisfy one individual may be a turn-off for another.
You should educate yourself However, if this is not a turn-on for you, you should discuss this before the encounter, this way, they're are no surprises or disappointments.
|
