Dear Omar:
I moved to a new city about 5 years ago, and I've pretty much kept to myself. Then I met this guy who relocated like I did, who's like a "soulmate", we think alike, have gone through a lot of the same situations, he's become like a younger brother to me. Today I found out that he may have to relocate again, or should I say, go back to his hometown. I'm afraid that he and I may lose touch. What should I do?
Afraid in a new City
Dear Afraid:
Don't live your life in fear. God does not want His children to live in fear. Sounds like you have found a true friend. If this is the case, there's the telephone, bus, train, plane, boat, webcam, internet… do I need to continue? However, you need to get out more, open yourself up to possible new friendships.
Dear Omar:
Just recently I discovered that I have Hep C. I also found out that my condition is almost at level 4, moving towards cirrhosis of the liver Before folks think that I drink too much, the doctor's believe that I got it through a blood transfusion.
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At first, I totally panic. Then I thought, what will be, will be. I can't stop the future. Do you l think I should get my "affairs" in order, just in case, my condition worsens?
Death's Door?
Dear Afraid:
I'm not a doctor, but I would imagine if your doctor felt that it was just a matter of time, he/she would have told you to get your affairs in order. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us.
However, it's always wise you have your paperwork done, just so there's no drama, you know how family and friends can be and it can be worse if you're gay, black and come from a church going family. Also there are a few treatments available.
In the meantime, write down a list of questions for your doctor; also if you have a close friend/family member, ask him/her to go with you. A lot of times, the patient gets nervous and most times will not ask the right questions. Good luck, and be prayerful.
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Dear Omar:
I had a sexual hook-up with this guy and it was so intense. We clicked. When he left a few hours later, he text to say that he had a great time and wanted to keep in touch for another session.
I sat there in the afterglow but an hour later, he sent a text saying that he's in a "situation". I was shocked since we had discussed who was single, married or whatever. Then he asked, "Do you know what I mean?" I returned the text saying, 'Yes, you are married or something like that". That was the last time that we spoke. What do you think?
Thinking and wondering?
Dear T.W:
What you experienced happens a lot when you have a hook-up, there's a lot a talking, kissing, making out, however, there's no foundation because it's built on having sex only. It's a sexual dance. Once the music stops, it's a wrap.
There's an old school song, recorded by Jean Carne called, "Was That All It Way? If you've seen the movie, "Precious", it's the song that's playing in the beginning of the movie. The song speaks about lust and the questions that follow after the "trick" is gone.
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If you want sometime more solid, try dating first. Go beyond the sexual, check out the mental, spiritual and financial. Good luck.
Dear Omar:
As I get older my sexual thoughts have become really strange, much wilder. Not that I have done any of it, but I found it alluring.
Is this normal?
Dear Normal?
What's normal for one person may be boring to another. Depending on your age and situation, perhaps you are going through "midlife", "change of life". Women go through this but so do men and it's really been confirmed after years and y ears of research.
Like the 50 year old man divorces his wife, of 25 years, marries a younger wife or perhaps he trades in his car and buys a motorcycle; I think you are probably experiencing something like this.
If this is the case, ride it out and but be careful and safe. You can tell your closeness friend but don't tell anyone else, it might get around that you are a freak, and not in a positive way.
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