Dear Omar:
I recently had to share with my employer my HIV status, and now that I have I feel that my days are numbered with this company, although I am currently looking for something else any way. I don't want the rug sweep from up under my feet. Should I be worried?

Signed: I need my job

Dear I need my job:
You should not be worried there are laws protecting you from an employer letting a worker go because of their health as long as you function on the job, and do what is expected of you, you should have nothing to worry about.

Sincerely: Ready to settle down

Dear Settle Down:
The first thing I think you should do is just sit down with him and find out if settling down is what he wants to do. Then you need to talk about what that looks like, meaning are you guys going to date exclusively. It's important to communicate and listen to each other. What you're looking for may be totally different than his.

Dear Omar:
I am a mother of a son that likes to dress up in women's clothing. I want to be supportive yet I do want to set boundaries. How do I say I am ok with you and your lifestyle, however we need to set some limitations.

Signed: I love you regardless

Dear Regardless:
I think you can show your support by doing what you have been doing, by being there for him and showing him the right way and the wrong way to do things. Unfortunately, we live in a society that still has hatred for those who are different. He's got to be aware of his surrounding and at the same time, be true to himself. 

There's plenty for you and your son to bond over, so be there for him and like a loving parent, let him know when you disapprove or disagree with something. But make sure you set aside plenty of time to talk /spend with your other children, if you have more than one.

Dear Omar:

The first lover I ever had 15 years ago I run into on line. I was in love with this man and he's still in love with me. We have not spoken in over 15 year's!!! 

My current lover has been wonderful and I love him but there's nothing like your first love. I love this man !!!!!!!! But really don't want him to know how much I still care. What should I do?

Signed: My First Love

Dear My First Love:

You didn't mention why you and your first lover broke up in the first place. However, 15 plus years means that you both have changed. Perhaps you two are in love with a memory. Also you are in a solid relationship, would you want to lose that on what once was? Sounds like you and your first have some unfinished business. 

Now if you two meet up, talk and you two decide to get back together, your current lover will be hurt. If you don't explore what your real feelings are, you may live the rest of your life, wondering, "what if". I can't decide on what you should do, all I can do is make you focus on the situation with a clear eye. Are you in love with a memory? Do you want to hurt your lover? Think about it, and let me know what you decide to do. Good luck.

I'm in a non-exclusive relationship, but the problem is we have committed ourselves to get other which means it's not non-exclusive but exclusive. I don't know where the time has gone but we have been together, going on 2 years. I love him but I'm not in love. Should we break it up or continue?

Thank you,  Non-exclusive & confused

Dear Non-Exclusive:

Perhaps you are in your non-exclusive, exclusive relationship because you fear being alone. If this is the case, you need to decide if you're going to change the label from non to exclusive, giving 100% of yourself, to make it work. This is, of course, if your partner is on the same page as you. 

If you are against committing yourself, you need to be honest with your "friend", and redefine what will work for the both of you. You can't have it both ways, non-exclusive then exclusive when it works for you. Honesty and integrity is the key.

Dear Omar:

Look Omar, I moved to this new place, a different city and met this guy that I've been kicking it with for almost 3 years. 

I don't know what to do. I'm not in love with him but I do care about him. What should I do?

Signed: What's Next?

Dear "What's Next":

Sounds like your relationship may have run out of steam. Enjoy the memories because your F.B. has moved on. You may have developed feelings but I get the feeling that for him it could be only sexual. Does he know how you feel about him? If so, did he express interest? 

Communication is the key. If it's just sex perhaps it's come into its expiration date. If its love you're looking for, you have to change the rules within yourself. 

Get to know the person first, become friends first and treasure making love and having sex like its golden.

 Free love, free sex gets old after a while, so build a foundation with yourself, work on yourself, don't go looking for love, love will find you if you're open to it.

I've spent most of my life taking care of others and it's been a blessing, no regrets. Now I'm totally free, not a freedom that I wanted or expected. I'm trying to figure out what I should do with the rest of my life. I don't know where I belong. I'm trying to fit in, but fit where?

Signed: Fit-Less

Dear Fit-Less:

Sounds like you have to reinvent yourself. Come out of your comfort zone. It's hard, I know, people can be rude, mean and selfish. But you sound like you are mature enough to step out on faith, step out on your experience and step out because it's your turn. Don't sit on the sidelines, jump into life, experience the cold, warm, hot of life, inhale life.

Are you experiencing drama in your life and need another opinion, "Ask Omar". Send e-mails to  dear.omar@yahoo.com